I wake up and everything is the same as always. Trapped in a world with almost no escape. Freedom is not what I have. I walk through the halls of this place I call home and all I see are posters of Big Brother following me, watching me. A two-way telescreen watches my every move in my own home. I do not know what privacy is. Every move I make is in the light and is seen.
My life is built around fear. The fear of being caught. Life is Oceania is a routine for everyone. Without a routine, one cannot live. I am not allowed to think. The Thought Police have me under servalence. It is not easy living in the same building with two children who are part of the Junior Thought Police.
During the Two Minutes Hate O'Brien looked at me. For a second I felt as if he could be an allie, but then I felt the feeling that he understood what I felt. I also noticed the dark-haired girl. Something about her caught my eye. There was something different about her. I feel as if she is a spy; I am scared that she is, but I cannot help feeling the way I do.
My family. Does any of my past have meaning? Does any of it matter? I wonder if I ever even had a sister, a mother, a father. At work I change and edit the past, what used to be the truth turns into lies. I write the past that the Party wants everyone to know, but the Party controls it all. Whoever controls the past, controls the future.
Every single day I think about the Thought Police plugging in the wire to my telescreen. Will I be caught for having rebellious thoughts against the Party? Against Big Brother? Will the dark-haired girl turn me in to the Thought Police without knowing anything about me? I write in my journal without even knowing that I keep writing the same thing;
DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER.
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